Oseike's Posts Digital Painting, Hamel, Zombies Stalkers 5:40 am
I really am on a food bent lately, aren’t I?
Anyway, finished my picture of Hamel (haha, guess where in the story this is?), so here he is in all his glory~~~ (full size looks muchas better, I promise)
Also, made an apple pie today. Burned it a bit on the edges and top, but after cutting those parts off, it tasted pretty darn good!
BRose's Posts 1:55 am
So, last week, I was sad and stressed and burning out emotionally. But then I just sat in the sunshine on Sunday and stared at cars (at an intersection) for, I kid you not, better than an hour, and life is looking up. My birthday was on Tuesday and Mom and Dad got me Season 3 NCIS, which made me absolutely ecstatic for quite a while, my roommates baked me a cake and decorated my door with very bright streamers, and I’m getting a massage (another fantastic birthday present) tomorrow and there will be ANOTHER party on Saturday. So there are good times.
Coupled with my change in mood is a great change in optimism and ambition. I can look at the future now and think “Yeah, I could try that, and if it doesn’t work, ah well.” In that vein I have submitted a play I wrote last semester (and not looked at since *wince*) to a One Act competition and an abstract of my yet-to-be-written Honors Project to a research funding program (they could give me money to go to a conference). The worst thing that anyone can do is say “No thank you” or “You are not qualified to do this” or not get back to me at all. And considering I haven’t edited that particular version of the play EVER and I wrote the abstract the half hour before it was due, Im not resting my hopes on anything, but it’s just nice to be entering things and entertaining the possibility of great success.Good times.
Oseike's Posts cooking, joy of cooking 2:26 am
I have mentioned this several times before, I know. But I love food!
Seriously, ever get into a funk, just vaguely depressed and don’t know why? Or get irritated with a teacher but be unable to sway their point of view? Or mess up big time, forget something that was important?
Not that this is daily occurrence for me, but I’m no stranger to any of those. “Life” is what they call that, I believe. (“They” being defined as those vague shady characters that hang around your house at night but you never see. O_o) The daily heartbreak and comfort that occurs over and over again in the cycle we call humanity is what really keeps us all going, though.
But sometimes it kinda sucks, you know?
Before I keep going, I’m NOT in a funk right now. PROMISE. I’m just being philosophical.
Anyway, so every now and then, things just kinda suck.
So what do I usually do? What I think is a very natural reaction: I cook.
I don’t necessarily have to eat it right away (though the act of eating something I created is also part of it). You see, for me it isn’t comfort food, per se. It’s not the sinful pleasure of eating something I “shouldn’t” that makes me want to cook. If I wanted that, I’d go buy myself a thing of ice cream or a couple candy bars. No, the reason I cook is a great deal deeper than that.
There’s a connection between the act of doing something physically and the result that comes from it. Because of that, when I’m cooking, I’m not just throwing things in a pan and watching them turn into something edible. I’m engaging in an act that is probably closer to sketching a picture or attempting to compose a piece of music. I usually don’t try to make a symphony out of it, but something good, a kind of little ditty that will pop up in your head again later – that’s the kind of food I try to make. The kind of food that, even after you’ve eaten it, a couple hours later your mouth remembers that taste and says “hey, I’d like that again.”
That’s part of my definition of a good meal. And that’s also part of my definition of “comfort food.” You see, the act of turning base ingredients, which are bland and undesirable by themselves, into that kind of taste is what makes me want to continue to cook things. There is a transformation there, you see? Undesirable to desirable, bland to extraordinary, tasteless to delicious. And when I’m in a funk, I can’t help but believe that I like to cook merely because I want to remind myself of that change. To watch myself, through my own act of cooking, turn from bland into something imminently more important, more desirable. “I have worth.” That would be my message to myself, sent via fumes and chemicals in the biological act of cooking, smelling, tasting, and eating.
So, of course, eating my product is part of it, the final confirmation of my own self-worth, the boost in morale.
…Doesn’t work so hot when I burn it, though.
Well, that’s part of me. So when I say that I like to feed people, I’d say it’s probably a reflection of that, searching for an outer confirmation that my efforts aren’t a waste. It’s not a sad thing, don’t get me wrong – I think this is what makes us human, in a sense. I mean, aren’t we all searching for that connection that ties us all together? I just choose food as my media, instead of going to a party or drinking or watching videos or playing games together.
So very passive of me, I know.
Well, that’s who I am, and I know this already. So basically, what are your connections? Where do you find your little bits of confirmation? I wonder.
Ah, so if I ever feed you, be honest with the food, eh? Because I’ve already tasted it anyway, so I’ll know if you lie. <3 Food doesn’t lie. And don’t give me a bland response like “It’s good.” Not unless you let me know for certain if you mean it, via expression or something. Otherwise, such a weak response just doesn’t give me anything to work with at all. >=(
