You may have heard of them. I may have made up the entire idea. But a pun-poem is exactly what it sounds like, a poem made of as many horrible horrible puns on a theme as possible. For this one (written, appropriately enough during my poetry class) I chose trees. Though oddly enough, I never managed to get “tree” in the poem. I’d really like to work in that one and “forest”. It keeps me up at night (not really; that would be my spanish paper) And there’s a P.S that’s just in the stories section that isn’t really that good but I worked in a few horrible lines that really rock.

Enjoy. Or maybe just groan. Whatever, both responses are valid. (Hint: if it makes no sense when you read it, try saying it outloud.)

Leaf Me Alone

Leaf me alone.

Don’t bark at me like an angry dog

Don’t tell me to branch out or try and spruce me up.

Yew maple* me any way you wish

But I don’t want to go against my grain.

I like the roots I’ve got

And willow-er* my standards not a jot

(Though you wood say they’re low enough already).

I’m knot going to rowan* my life pining for you.

Don’t give me sage advice to make me poplar.

I’m alder than yew, your changes walnut* stick.

I have the balsa knot bough* before your Ivy League education

And I’ve found my grove,

Don’t blame me if I like acorny joke every now and then.

Yew can take that “holly-er than thou” attitude and shove it up your ash. 

If you’re confused, things with asterisks have translations in the story section. *grin* Isn’t it aweful?